No it wasn't, Dear-heart. When I came home from the Navy with my society-identified, white husband (who was Italian-American and hated to be called that shit) and my beautiful, brown baby -- my grandmother, a Black, Gullah woman from SC would NEVER look him in the eye. We went out to the island one day and after my walking up on my mother, aunt (who also lived on the island) and my grandmother having a conversation about, "I don't why, Debi married that white man, just wait, she'll see!" -- she came to me and said, "Ask your husband to cut my grass." I looked at her and said, "You ask him, GraMama, I'm sure he'll be glad to do it for you!" She said she couldn't do that cuz that ain't how things go. Twisting my face, I said, "Okay, I'll ask him, but I don't think I really need to." For her, I DID need to, cuz she would NEVER ask a white man to do such a thing for her.

I told him about the conversation I'd had with my grandmother after he'd cut the grass. He couldn't believe it. I told him, "Welcome to the rest of your life, Darlin -- cuz this IS, what it is Down South!"

Don't worry about takin' it back -- pay it forward. Just my 2¢...