What an excellent piece, Super Mrs. C.!! I was, undoubtedly, raised exactly as you described above. But once I left home, joined the Navy and got married -- I was resolute in my belief that there had to be another way. While I understood my Mama was only working with what she was given, trying to raise her three kids alone after my father left, I found myself in a different kind of marriage and a different way I wanted to engage with my children with the husband's help and support. Oh, we went around and around about it. Needless to say, his family's way was wa-a-ay different than mine! And I can't lie, working with what I was given, I used some of those prohibitive words to which you alluded on plenty of occasions! But we found common ground with the help of our Navy friends that opened up a whole new world of understanding and engagement for us and our sons.

We talked to them constantly (none of that baby-talk either!), involved them in all sorts of activities that encouraged socialization and yes, even critical thinking. They held conversations with our friends who'd come over and many of them used to say, "These damned boys have been here before!"

The story you shared about the little boy with his grandparents was exemplary! It definitely was a missed opportunity, not only for broadening his little horizons, but for knowing his grandparents were actually interested in him (besides the burger as big as his head🤣) and what he might've seen or had to say.

And while I got better at it, there was still room for improvement. As I watch them now, raising their own kids, I hear more about "choices" than "automatic reprimands" from their fathers -- and it makes me proud that I'd at least tried another way.