You should feel no shame, as you say, your parents got exactly what they wanted as you tried to fit in. Trust me, I understand the feeling of losing generations of family history and rich culture (though for different reasons). But your children have given you a gift in whose glow you can now bask, and you can also share your experiences with them and why, so they can be more well-rounded and unapologetically Chinese -- it's a win-win! So don't beat yourself up. Great piece!